In Da Chess Club

Chess.com is making a promotional video contest, and this is one product of the contest:



If you like to sing while watching it, here are the lyrics:
CHORUS:
You can find me in the club, acting like a thug
baby I got what you need if you need to play some bug
I'm into playing chess, I ain't into making love
so if you wanna mate with me you know where to look me up
You can find me in the club, acting like a thug
baby I got what you need if you need to play some bug
I'm into playing chess, I ain't into making love
so if you wanna mate with me, girl, you better know your stuff

When I'm rolling on Chrome you see chess.com
I bet you think you're pretty clever when you play the poison pawn
but Grandmaster G ain't never calculated wrong
and if you put me under pressure, keep it even, cool, and calm
But homie ain't nothing changed, Rook down, Queen up
got that Bishop in the corner fianchettoed from c1
if you watch how I move you'll mistake me for Deep Blue or Fritz
but make no mistake, fool, I don't think with a chip
Like the Black King's Bishop, son, I slay in the dark
I intimidate the ex-cons that play in the park
From New York to L.A., Paris to Moscow
the plan is to put the chess game in a lockdown
and I can't be stopped now, tactics on my mind
I got three days to play so I'm taking my time
and my trophies on the mantlepiece all in a row
got my homepage loaded and we're ready to go

CHORUS

and it doesn't even matter what opening you choose
the Sicilian or Indian, you're always gonna lose
I will smash through your defenses with my tactical tricks
why you playing the French, when this is a blitz, fool?
it's what I'm tearing you apart for
son I elevate trash talk to an art form
cause I'm fly like a g6, Accelerated Dragon
soaring over your head, spitting flames and laughing
no break in the action, I guess it's true what they say
you can hate the player, but you can't hate the game
still it's hard to get by in a material world,
I'm a positional guy, she's a material girl
and she was sitting next to me, like "boy will you teach chess to me?"
so I showed her all the moves, she was a tasty little recipe
soon I had her begging me for three-fold repetition,
but baby we should switch up and try some new positions
'cause I'm into playing quick, I ain't into laying plans
it's a smother mate, girl, call it a "one knight stand,"
baby I can make your bedrock, basics of chess man
put my King on the g-spot, O - O exclam!
and get you horny all for me
when I sack you like my Queen as if my name was Paul Morphy
uh, I know what you find arousing,
E.L.O. rating "over 9,000!"

straight up!
CHORUS

yeah, you know where we be
chess.com, all day, every day
shout out to my home team
who let the bulldogs out?
yeah, we the best man,
forget Bobby Fischer, we got Bobby Hess...
That's ridiculous
alright, we're done here man
cut it. Just... cut it.

[Mad props to the people whose patience and support made this video possible. I won't denigrate your good name by listing it here, but you know who you are, and this one's for you.]